Solving and Evolving

As this new calendar year begins, i enter this day as a new man.
2008 presented me with more challenges, blessings, drama, and decisions than I've ever been confronted with in my 29 years. Health issues, faith, love and family drama, money woes, and work annoyances presented themselves in such a way that I've been forced to deal rather than scuttle them to the side and tackle at some other more "convenient" time. I was forced to be active instead of re-active. I stopped being a victim. Stopped letting life happen to me rather than imposing MY will on it.

i had to confront my life's adversaries:
-Cursing Sandy's ass out
-Letting go of the guilt and speaking my mind to Karrie
-And most of all confronting and dealing with my biggest opponent, me.

I begin this year with the new found realization, that I'm really not as great as i thought i was. That my hype machine is mostly just that, hype. I mean, I'm not turning into a self-depreciating charity box. Its just that over this past year, life has caused me to have several "by myself meetings"(shout out to Cappadonna). Basically instead of analyzing and diagnosing everyone Else's issues, I've identified and began working on a couple of the blaring ones that that have stifled my life for the majority of my first 29 years on Gods earth. I've always been under the assumption that people, no matter gender, race, background or whatever, mature , and grow on their own specially God-given schedule. And i finally feel like I'm turning n to an adult.

Growing by:
-taking responsibility for all i do.
-instead of claiming regrets for my mistakes, acknowledging and learning from them.
-climb off my high horse and realize not one thing about me makes me better than the next man.
-standing up to my fears. its a natural emotion, but quickly becomes evil when it starts to dictate to your life. "until you truly learn to say fuck your fears, you are not alive"- Cee-lo Green
-valuing integrity and honesty. it may not gain you many fans in the short term. but it WILL gain u respect ultimately.
-having unwavering faith in my God. halfway faith is no faith at all.

Today i feel better, i am better, and i will continue to get better.