Funniest Man ALIVEEEEEEE!!!!!

While me and the Mrs. and i yesterday were up late last night off a strawberry cake high, we came across Lisa "Queen of Mean" Lampanelli. Now, my chick was really turned off by her, while i, who can always appreciate some good racial jokes that make folks uncomfortable, thought she was decent. i cant knock her hustle, she is one dimensional, but what are ya gonna do, shes an insult comic. Comedy is kinda wack these days. Chappelle in hiding or simply uninterested, Murphy and Martin making movies for their kids and both Rock and Tucker being exposed as kinda weak, there aint much that really makes my side hurt..

Below, however is the exception to the rule.

A couple songs that held me down in 08'

Jay electronica- This song gives me a tingle in my heart. lifts my spirits.. the title alone is victorious.


Carlitta Durand- When life tries to deter me from furthering my creative dreams.. shoes, writing, etc.. these lyrics remind me that the dreams can be real if u c=make them and believe. Plus i owe her some kicks..lol


Cons- Raheim-this joint took me back to my epic batles with Ervin, Randy and Gregory..lol


Fozzy Bear-Cloud nine- Shit knocks. Matter of fact, aint nuttin knocked like dis since Ameries' "One thing"


Badu- the highlight of a whole album filled with collaboration with SA-RA. One day this'll be seen as a classic.


Spec Boogie- Meand this guy posts on the same message board. This is more knockage. plus the sample of take 6 takes me to a time when Spike Lee could do no wrong.

I wont complain

Misunderstood
Lied on
Lied to
Cheated on
Let down
Picked on
Left out
Sick
Dumped
..and many more calamities..

But ya know what?
Im aight..
It really aint that bad.
Praise be to my God for walking with me thru it all.

Mr. Paul Jones can put it MUCH better than i ever could.
I don't write this blog for an audience. But if u happen to come across this blog(whomever u are), take a few minutes to watch.

"I guess i just miss my friend".- Red from The Shawshank Redemption

Sumthin about this time of year. The fall. The days that top out at a brisk 45 degrees with a slight breeze. The beautiful rainbow of red, orange, yellow and brown leaves that ONLY Maryland landscapes can display. Late regular season NFL, bowl season and an infantile basketball season trying to grab any attention it can. This is indeed my fav time. Always has been.

Especially when i was younger. Seems like every saturday, me and all the fellas from the OTHER side of Allentown rd would gather together, knocking on everyones doors asking their parents if they were home and prying them aways from their Sega Genisis' to come out and play some ball. Despite the temp, NO one, i mean NO one wore a winter coat. If they did it was simply to avoid a chewing out by their parents on the way outta the house. As soon as we hit the field tho, it was all layered sweatpants, sweaters and long johns.

10 on 10.
no "o" line.
Blitz after 7 Mississippi count but only on 4th down.
Three completions= first down.
First to 35 by 7's is the winner.

I cant remember how many i won or lost. i DO remember when Kwame hit this poor lil
kid so hard that his arms were paralyzed for a few minutes... i also remember how Omari was such a liability on offense, AND defense for that matter. he had decent hands but NO speed at all! Dude was really only good as possession reciever. Plus he was a pouter. He'd always would wanna fight when Jonah, Cliff, Jason, and them called him sorry. Since he was MY friend(on the weekend sleepover tip) tho, we'd just leave and id have to hear about how he coulda beat up all of them had we stayed..

After about 2 or 3 games, Larry would come sauntering up to the park, basketball in tow. Interest from football would wane for the majority of the bunch of us, much to the dismay of Kwame(who was never that skilled in roundball). To me tho is was all good. it would give me a chance to imitate the move that i had watched MJ do on Sportcenter the night before. The reverse layup was my shit. Only way it could be defended was with help and with everyone goin one on one all the time it bacame my go-to move.. I swear, i perfected that thang. Aint nobody out there do that joint like me..(look at me sounding like an old man.)

After all the games, Kwame and i would head over to his crib. Makes ome popcorn, crack a couple of Superfresh brand cola open and crash in his room. He'd be doodling some new Superhero in his Sketchpad and i'd be fiddling thru his Marvel Card Notebook, and his Comic book collection while wrestling was playing on the tube in the background. Meanwhile his sister Malika would be banging on his door yelling at him about feeding Precious(their dog).

The day would end around 6 when i'd say my goodbyes to his fam, hop on my bike and head back to Bushey Dr. At 6:30 in the afternoon, it was one cold ride home, but the memory of those times always warms my heart.

The Seville-Lewis Conundrum

Question:
What's behind the eerie similarities between Huey Lewis and the News and classic animated band, The Chipmunks.

Hypothesis:
The songs are the same, simply sped up, Kanye style.

Research:
Exhibit A



Exhibit B



Results:
Though the songs are not exact duplicates; one can make the argument that the two bands share the same arranger and songwriter in many cases.

Conclusion:
Because Huey Lewis and the news shares a similar sound to an fictional 80's rodent, pop band; this serves as further proof that they cant hold a candle to Hall and Oates.


Owning you bitches since 84'

Nekkid white people in protest..

I knew i heard some chanting..
and once i saw the first tittie, the camera came out.
war is NOT the answer.lmao

"..like a fat kid loves cake"

I like food.
Always have always will.
It and some weird work of genetic engineering has contributed to my life long Faux-bodybuilder body. It looks great in tees, but mostly blubber when they come off.
Im ok with that tho. I just thought id use this last 53 minutes at my job on this hump day to list some of my all-time fav foods. Of course since this is MY blog, each one will likely have a some sort of witty caption. Its the aspiring writer in me...lol

I used to CRUSH these mutha-suckaz back in the day! Summertime, nuthin to do but ride bikes and play bball with Kwame all day. id hang at his crib all day then on the way home i'd stop to the superfresh and grab a bag of these jammies and a mars bar. That combo held ur boy down for 2 straight summers. Them joints is like the second coming of P,B and J, son.

These were my go-to back in the peak of my legit, FAT boy stage of life. I'ma say around 4th, 5th grade i was QUITE portly. And this hybrid of chocolate, peanut butter(my ultimate vice), caramel, rice crispies, and peanuts had me asking my pops EVERY weekday afternoon that i'd roll with his to his night gig about stopping to the Highs(a nigga is old) to grab two of these joints. I used to do it like how bruthas cop cd's of thier fav artists..lol One for the ride, one for the crib.

Ok, i LUV peanut butter. its my favorite food, both as main dish AND condiment. So when the Quaker food company graced us with a PB spin-off of its popular Capt Crunch line, i used to press the SHIT outta my momma to pick up not one but TWO boxes of these joints when she went to the grocer. I'll be brief with this. The crunch, the buttery taste, and the almost non-existant sog factor was the closest thing i had to orgasm til i finally got a piece. But to this day there is still no comparison. No woman has had as profound an effect as this cereal has. No one.*sobs*


Me and the homie Niya used to crush these daily. It went like this: 12 wings apiece, 1 order of Sugarbees, and two sweet teas. Diabetes is real..lol


About 7 years ago while a freshman at MTSU. The Burger King Chain in Tennessee made the mistake of offering whoppers for .99cent. Now being a struggling student who earned roughly 4 bucks an hour, this as a nightly meal was a no-brainer. Sour cream and chedder cheese chips+large fruit punch+.99 cent whopper= good times and full belly in Murfreesboro.