ive always looked at life from the eyes of a naive, innocent child. ignorant to the inevitable let downs, hardships, and tribulations that right next to death and taxes are gaurenteed in life. for so long it served me well.. the take it in stride view i call it.
bad break at work<<<
ruff goin witha chick<<<
billz bustin me like crazy<<<
so on and so on.. basically it was all done to keep a smile on my face and some faux peace in my life. stress and i dont get along too well so instead of deal with it, my function was to work AROUND it to avoid as much as possible till it was UNAVOIDABLE. i think in the last couple of years of my life its been brought to my attention just how self destructive that thinking kan be.
Goin with the flow, just getting by, not wanting to rock the boat, sacrificing my feelings and wants for others has all led to my spirit being dampened and my heart being broken. so many women think that i have no feelings and my heart is as cold as ice. but the truth is, the self inflicted heartbreak that ive endured is greater than ANY break up will ever be.. so much stuff thats happened in MY life hasnt been on MY terms.. this is really the first time in my 28 years that ive truly taken ownership of this self abandonment. its like i've let me down for so long.. ima make it up to myself tho, i have to.
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